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Why can’t my running shoes be more like my bike?

Pictured above is my beloved Swobo Otis. It is, I'm sure you'll agree, a handsome specimen of bikeitude. Its form perfectly expresses its function; nothing is extraneous. It is matte black. I have a lingering fear it is going to murder me in my sleep one of these nights, and I mean that in the best possible way.

My bike looks sexy and murderous. I understand that this may be too much to ask of my running shoes, but I would settle for them not looking like clown vomit.

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